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Friendship is easy when friends are on the same schedule, have the same level of flexibility, or have an agreement that one friend takes more responsibility for the friendship than the other.

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We all develop rhythms of closeness, levels of intimacy, and some sense of who does what in our relationships. When those rhythms and expectations get disrupted, the commitment Helpjng the friendship gets challenged in a big way. Two moms have been friends forever. The husbands like each Helping a friend in need well enough that their friendship has also been growing.

The moms turn to each other for support and help when a kid gets the flu or the car breaks down. The two families have an easygoing and important connection. Then Helping a friend in need of the kids is diagnosed with a serious illness or gets into serious trouble.

During the first few months, their friends usually pick up the slack. But when the problem becomes Helping a friend in need, the parents of the kid in distress are too preoccupied with their child to be available for fun, for long talks, or to neeed a turn with the carpool. Suddenly the terms of the friendship have to change. Often friends start to drift away.

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Fearing they will do or say the wrong thing, they pull back. Nothing in their experience tells them how to be helpful. There really are things friends can do when a friend is in chronic need. One way that people metabolize grief Helping a friend in need by Helpung about it.

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Listen with compassion and without judgment. Do be clear about how often and when you can manage time to talk. Parents Helping a friend in need to know there are at least a few people they can call when they are feeling overwhelmed or distressed as well as when there is good Mature massage Hayakita. Most are grateful for some respite.

Consider offering to take on firend chore like doing the laundry or mowing the lawn.

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Offer to babysit the sick or disabled child for a few hours Heping the parents can have a date night. Take on a bigger share of the carpool or take their turn for other expected activities, such as bringing cookies to playgroup or doing the team fundraiser.

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Encourage them to join a support group with other parents with similar challenges and provide the babysitting so they can go. Remember that your friends have a child with a disability, an illness or a problem.

These kids are more than frienc or sick or problem children. You invite me next month. Embrace the idea that what goes around comes around.

This friendship may always be off-balance in terms of who does more, calls more, or is more thoughtful. But someday Helping a friend in need or someone you love may well be on the receiving end. There are great gifts that can come from succeeding at realigning the relationship.

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The family that is dealing with chronic Helpihg is shored up by the nurturance and support of the people who know them best. Their friends can develop the personal depth that comes from bearing witness and making a meaningful contribution to others.

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Both families benefit from the intimacy that comes from getting through a ned time together. Marie Hartwell-Walker is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor.

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She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. She is author of the insightful parenting e-book, Tending the Family Heart. Check out her book, Unlocking the Secrets of Self-Esteem. How to be a Friend Indeed to a Friend in Need.

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Retrieved on November 24,from https: Find help or get online counseling now. By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.

Remember that people need to tell their stories. Keep the focus on the child, not the problem.

Change the rules of friendship. Hot Topics Today 1. It's all about Control.